Dear Annie: Was friend’s reaction to dog hair in her food really about that, or something else?


Dear Annie: My friend recently asked me to cook her dinner because she was tired of working long hours and eating fast food. I felt bad for her, so I cooked her dinner. She later told me she had found a hair in the food. It was dog hair. She said it was disgusting and nasty and then asked if I had dropped her dinner on the floor and then put it back on her plate. She said she couldn’t eat it and fed it to her dog.

I told her I was sorry she had found hair in her food. I said that I did not drop food on the floor.

It was hurtful when she said this, but should I be happy that she told me this, or offended? Incidentally, she has three dogs, and I only have one. — Hurt Friend

Dear Hurt Friend: She doesn’t sound like she was acting much like a friend. You have every right to be hurt by her reaction. There is a nice way to say something and a not nice way to say something, and she chose the latter. You were doing her a favor, and she put you down.

Tell her that your feelings were hurt by her reaction and ask her about what might be going on at work. Sometimes, when people get really upset over small things or hurt people they love, it’s really because they can’t get mad at their boss or someone else.

Dear Annie: I have read your column for years because I enjoy it. I’ve even written in myself once or twice. I find some of these letters hitting very close to home lately, and it’s comforting to know other people have some of the same issues as I do, but it’s frustrating that your answers always seem to recommend speaking to a marriage counselor.

Maybe you could have a counselor assist with answering some of the questions?

I, for one, am not interested in going to see a marriage counselor, but I am interested in hearing a short opinion from one on the subjects at hand. Thank you for listening. — Anywhere USA

Dear Anywhere USA: Thank you for your letter and recommendation that one see a counselor for an opinion only, rather than counseling. If that works for you, it might also work for others, so I appreciate your suggestion.

However, many of the couples who write to me need to express their opinions and work things out together over time, with the help of a professional, and they have great success doing so. That is why I am never reluctant to recommend couples counseling.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

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